Dear All Who Are Not My Child’s Parent,
I hear you behind me at church nursery drop off talking about, “How on earth can she stand giving her child formula and not breast milk? She must not care about his health!”
I see how you look at me when I put my child in the grass at the park and let him explore…more like put everything in his mouth.
I hear you when I am checking out at the grocery store, “She obviously should hire a babysitter so her child can be at home and not making such chaos in public.”
I see/hear the looks and advice you give me at restaurants when I am giving my child the same food I myself am eating, that you kindly tell me that, “Its not baby food, so he should not be eating it.” or my personal favorite…..”I would never feed my infan that, have you talked to your doctor!”
Do not get me wrong I appreciate advice from those of you who have experience raising children. Except when advice becomes criticism or judgement that is when it becomes rude and degrading to every mom who has experienced it. I understand everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, that what makes this world go round!
Next time you are in line at nursery and talking behind me to your friend about how horrible of a mom I am for using formula, take a second and ask yourself….”Was she able to breast feed?” “Did her child catch on to latching?” or “Was there some other incident that kept that mama from being able to?” Yes I am a formula feeding mom and I am proud it. Yes I did breast feed for 2 1/2 months of my sons life. If you would have stopped and asked me I would kindly tell you exactly what happened to bring me to formula instead of my original plan of formula!
When your at the grocery store and you see me struggling with my child having a meltdown at check out, instead of judging me and my parenting stop and think about how my rambunctious 11 month old who hates sitting still has been made to sit still for at least an hour maybe two while I coupon to save my family money and never complained until he knew we were done and his patience were spent! I do not expect you to enjoy listening to it because heck I sure don’t, but please don’t judge me for trying to take care of my family the best way I know how!
Remember that you yourself may have been a young mom once with a small child and trying to do the very same things, and how you may have been struggling to keep it together as well. Every mama has their flaws but they are all doing their best to take care of their children the way they feel is best. You may not agree but none of us will always agree on everything.
So next time you see a mom struggling with a small child, feeding them something you do not agree with, playing in a manner in which you do not support, just stop and pray for her. Prayer is a much better way to help that mama than judging her and making her feel inadequate!